HEALTHIER
RELATIONSHIP
When the relationships in your life are going well, it’s much easier to be happy. When your relationships are
misfiring, nothing else seems to go well, either. One thing is for sure:
fulfilling relationships are an important
part of enjoying life. Spend the time and effort needed to keep your relationships happy and healthy. You’ll
be glad you did!
tips for a healthy relationship
Strengthen your relationships daily:
Give what you
hope to receive.
When you notice yourself wanting something from your partner,
Stop and label it.
I need your respect;
I need you to clean up after yourself;
I need you to notice how much I do for you.
Once you become aware of the need for certain qualities in this way,
Give what you hope to receive.
If you are demanding respect from your partner,
Give your partner respect.
If you are demanding to be heard by your partner,
Make a practice of hearing.
If you are demanding that your partner be more mindful,
Try to pay closer attention to each moment.
Shift the attention from the trickle
You hope to elicit from outside,
To the ocean that you can become within yourself.
Think before
you speak.
Speaking before you think is a bad habit that can get you into trouble and hurt you in the most important areas of your life. Relationships will suffer or end, your career will be stalled at a level far below your talents, and most importantly, you will have little confidence in yourself.
Your speech shapes your life. Time and again you find yourself in situations where the outcome depends on what you say and how you say it. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If your words are getting you into trouble, you’re showing others the very worst parts of you. You’re presenting yourself as being thoughtless, careless or just plain hurtful.
Not only do your words create a positive or negative reaction in the world around you; your speech influences your thinking and can alter the course of your future. Your words are a way of underlining your thoughts and reinforcing them. When your words are harsh, negative, inconsiderate, or judgmental then these are the aspects of your experience that are emphasized. It won’t be long before you have developed the habit of always focusing your thoughts on the darker side of life. You know what kind of a person this will turn you into – a miserable, depressing and mean spirited person who sees only the bad and not the good in others or in life.
Realize that you can
control only yourself.
“You can’t change other people; you can only change yourself” is one of those lessons I’ve had to learn over and over again. And then sometimes I forget it and have to learn it again.
You don’t get very far in a family business, for example, without learning this lesson. I am very thankful that my siblings and I learned it early and often. Think about a sibling for a minute. Can you change even one of his or her possibly annoying behaviors? No. You can’t. Siblings are who they are, and you can only change your own reaction, response, and behavior. Some people do this by moving to other states, or even countries. Some people do this by never speaking to their siblings again. But in a family business that’s committed to staying a family business, you learn to change yourself. It does work!
Of course this truth applies to other relationships, as well. Sometimes no amount of effort to influence can create the change you want to see. In an intimate relationship, that can be heartbreaking. Whether it’s something big or something little (is anything really “little” in a relationship?), it’s the same: All you can do is change your own reaction, response, and behavior. If you truly, genuinely express your heart and someone doesn’t respond the way you’d like him or her to, and you try something different and it still doesn’t work, you have to face the honest truth that the only thing you can change is yourself. Sometimes that means staying in the relationship in a different way. Other times, it means leaving it.
Be open regarding
your needs.
Asserting yourself effectively allows you to turn a weakness into an asset. Typically, it is socially unacceptable to sound needy, but if you need to be reassured a lot that your partner loves you and is attracted to you, that’s okay.
Asserting your needs actually attracts women. Instead of coming off like a needy guy, you come off sounding like you understand yourself, and like you are confident and assertive. The key to effective communication is to do so inoffensively, instead of putting your partner on the spot in the blame game, encouraging them to be open with you without feeling attacked or blamed.
Choose your
battles wisely.
Choose your battles means to be selective of the problems, arguments, and confrontations that you engage with. Instead of getting involved with everything, you save your time only for the important arguments, the ones give you the best payoff, and the ones where there is a good chance of success. This applies to your work, relationships, and life.
When you choose your battles, you
Evaluate the problem you are facing,
Assess if the benefits of tackling it outweighs the costs, and
Decide if you should fight this problem or abandon it.
“Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.” – C. JoyBell C.
Be willing to
be vulnerable
For most people, the thought of being vulnerable is very threatening. We think this will open us up to getting hurt. Actually, it’s the other way around. Being vulnerable is your greatest protection. When your walls of protection are down, you radiate love. This dissolves opposition and resistance against you. Getting hurt then becomes a lot less likely.
Have appropriate
boundaries.
One of the most vital components to creating a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship is to become a master at setting boundaries. Simply put, boundaries are what set the space between where you end and the other person begins.
Depending on your upbringing and past experience, setting boundaries in relationships may be easier or more difficult for you. Often if we have had a parent, guardian or other person in our life during childhood who didn’t know how to set boundaries with us then we have to learn how to set boundaries in relationships. We have to learn when it is the proper time to set a boundary and how to find a balance in setting boundaries so they are not too weak or too strong
Give your relationship
attention and care.
All relationships require work. They don’t just materialize and maintain themselves, and they aren’t built on a foundation of convenience either. They take time and patience and two people who are willing to put in the effort.
Here’s how to do your part – one thing your relationships need from you:based on lack of attention damages relationships far more often than malicious abuse. There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with others than simply being there for them.
When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger. This is the side effect of a good relationship – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths.
Stay in close touch with those who matter to you – communicate openly on a regular basis. Not because it’s convenient, but because these people are worth the extra effort.
Be respectful.
When you want to be respectful, try to put yourself in someone else's shoes and behave in a way that shows you care. At its heart, being respectful means showing that you value other people's perspectives, time and space.
Being respectful starts with a basic consideration of other people's feelings. Ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in a given situation, and make an effort to treat other people that way. Treat everyone you encounter - strangers on the street, coworkers, classmates and family members - with respect and courtesy
Maintain balance.
A well balanced life is essential for personal effectiveness, peace of mind and living well.
There is always someone, or something, to answer to. There are things we want to do and things we must.
The challenge is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and choose to do. This is not always easy. If, however, we are unable to reduce stress and manage a well balanced life there can be physical and/or emotional health consequences
Give a sincere
compliment each day.
There are few things less charming than a contrived compliment. The important point is to be sincere: If you see something you like about someone, tell them. Don’t try to find something for the sake of being complimentary; that feels false. However, if you like the person's clothes, accessories or the way they did something, tell them. People can sense when it is sincere. If an individual isn't good at taking compliments, just move on gracefully, rather than trying to force them to accept it — that will make both of you uncomfortable.
MAINTAIN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP TODAY.
HELP SOMEONE SEE THIS,
Sharing is caring, you just might save a marriage.
